


of someone else's flowers

by smithens



Series: a love that won't sit still [9]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Bittersweet, Epistolary, Family Dynamics, Gay Uncle(s), M/M, Meet the Family, Post-Canon, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27434071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smithens/pseuds/smithens
Summary: 1928: Richard makes an important introduction.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Series: a love that won't sit still [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747162
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	of someone else's flowers

**Author's Note:**

> > Well, I have sown untidy furrows  
> across my soul,  
> but I am still a coward,  
> content to see my garden grow  
> so sweet & full  
> of someone else's flowers.
> 
> — [Joanna Newsom, "In California"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qukojXEK2GI)
> 
> hi everybody!!! sorry for being awol and not following through on, Well, the entire month of october. i started a new job and it is very demanding, more demanding than i anticipated it would be, so i have had time to write things but not finish them. hopefully i will get the next (& as of now, last) chapter of this one up within ~2 weeks??? this weekend is a holiday weekend for me so i am hoping to wrap some stuff up. but no promises
> 
> dual dedication to [for1dollarnameawoman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/for1dollarnameawoman/pseuds/for1dollarnameawoman) (co-founder of the Thomas Barrow Should Get To Hold A Baby coalition <3) and [likehandlingroses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/likehandlingroses) (who asked for more about the ALTWSS Ellises in a Tumblr ask meme and I copped out on half the answer with "but we'll meet them soon!". then like 8 months passed.)

**Letter, from Balmoral to York**

12/9/28

Dear Mousie,

Thanks for waiting so long as you will have by the time you open this—time has passed me by far quicker than I'd like, and I've felt dreary all the while. You don't blame me, do you? I trust you remember what it was like to be at Balmoral this time of year…

…

…for the most part it will be the same as it always was. Thus far, though you all know as well as I that this could change at the drop of the hat, the plan is to get the milk train out of Aberdeen that morning (I've already settled it with a chauffeur, though I reckon I'll have some things to pay forward once I'm in London again) and arrive in York around two o' clock. I'm afraid that's as early as I can be. A sleeper is absolutely out of the question—I'll be up late the night before putting things in order for H.M. and I can't fit that in anywhere else. For all Mum likes to talk about the good old days she seems to forget that the nature of the job is that I can't conjure up time out of thin air whenever I'd like. If I could you'd all be seeing me much more often.

As for my departure. It pains me to say it but there's a spanner in the works. I know in years past I've stayed as long as I can, barring one exception and as a matter of fact that has something to do with the subject of this letter, but I'm afraid that won't be possible this time. Looking at the timetables now I'll not be able to stay for much longer than a couple of hours, three at best…

…

…the only way I can see round it is if I get the last out of where I'm going and then join you all again before going back to London, in which case I'd get the night train to King's X, but that strikes me as a terrible inconvenience to all parties and add to that a poor use of my rail allowance. I don't want to cheat any of us of time with each other. The trouble is that I now have something else to consider that deserves my full attention same as the rest of you do. Now, I'd like to preface this with the acknowledgement that I'm bound to tread on toes making a decision such as this—given the likelihood, I'll say that while I intend to step lightly I can't promise not to step at all. This is a sensitive matter and one of great importance to me…

…

…only it's been more than a year now and I can't bear to keep it secret any longer. The summer before just past…

…

…the point, which I suppose after all this dithering about you may have guessed, is that in all of the ruckus & hubbub there happened to be a man, and that there remains one. He's a butler in service to the Earl of Grantham—does that explain anything for you? Of course you can imagine the difficulty in arranging appointments when he's in Downton and I'm all over the map. We've had but two meetings since the first and it means a very great deal to me that we've the chance now to add a third. I shall make no apologies for caring for him, and this I trust will be allowed, but I want for you to know that I am wholeheartedly regretful that in doing so I neglect my family…

…

…believe me when I tell you I'd feel better about it if I knew I'd be home for Christmas, but I never do in time, do I? We'll see what happens on that score. But I've made my mind up, and as I'm a grown man I should hope all of you will oblige me to keep it as is without much trouble.

Only there is one other option. We've not done anything like it for years, owing to I haven't had a friend up there for as long. Well, I haven't yet brought it up with Barrow as I figured I ought to see how things stand first. But I wondered, Hannah, if perhaps instead of dividing my time I might…

…

…Right, get back to me on that one soon as you can and I'll give him notice once I've heard. Never mind if it won't pan out, I've got two strings to my bow same as always. But how are you? How are the girls and the baby? What is he at, 9 months? 10? I suppose he must be near to toddling around on his own two feet by now if he hasn't been already. I'm sorry to be missing it. Do you remember I was there when Ellie took her first steps? Those were the best two days of leave I've ever got in my life—nothing since holds a candle. But let's keep lighting them anyway.

I miss you and the rest more than I think you know. As always I'd be grateful if you could pass my words along… if only I had the mind & the hand to write pages upon pages for everyone I wouldn't have to burden you with being my messenger.

So much as I hate to ask it I think you'd better burn this one after reading. Share with the girls what you think prudent. Just do let me know what you say to them so I don't have to walk on eggshells next week-end wondering how much they know about their absentee uncle.

I remain,

Ever your loving brother,

Dick.

* * *

**Letters, from York to Balmoral**

17/9/28

Dearest Dickie,

Did you really need so many pages to ask such a simple question? Truly I don't know how they can stand you in the servants' hall up there. You never did learn to keep things short and sweet!

I'm only teasing—but surely you understand, if you had told us sooner you wouldn't have had to write so much nor on such short notice. I'd say you'll be sorry if I didn't expect you already were! I admit I've been wondering why you've been in such high spirits so I suppose this is my answer? Now I've shared the news and I will go so far as to say that you have to bring Mr Barrow along with you, or we'll all riot. Does that satisfy you? None of this York to Downton and back again nonsense ; you'll exhaust yourself and give Mum a heart attack while you're at it. So, please both of you come to dinner, & do keep the timetable same as it was when we thought you were unattached. I imagine you'd like a bit of time to yourselves as well of course & I'll let you decide what is appropriate in that case, but we are all in agreement that both of you are welcome and desired. Really you mustn't fret—he'll fit right in! If the worst comes to the worst I suppose we'll just need to talk about service all afternoon. You make that prospect sound far more awful than it is. It's hardly a difficult subject! As a matter of fact Charlotte's cousin Marjorie worked at the Abbey did you know? She's got a job in a shop now but she was there for years Charlotte said. Small world! I just can't believe you kept this from us for more than a year, Dick. That was hardly necessary—do you really think so low of us? Uncle Lewis especially is awfully cross with you. I thought of everybody in the family you would have told him & it seems he thought the same. You'll have to settle things with him on your own because I've got no horse in that race and I wouldn't know where to begin.

Personally I suppose in hindsight we all ought to have guessed when you got Billy the job with but a snap of your fingers, but anybody who knows you will agree with me that you never seem to need to do much more than that to get what you want in the first place!

Well now that that is settled—

We are all at 6s & 7s up here getting things in order for you. You'll say we shouldn't be but you know how Mum is. She'd sooner die than have an unkempt nest when the birds fly back. You won't be staying the night will you? You might tell her so again!

As for the children—we made it a whole week and a half with your namesake making it through the night before he just so happened to get his very first (!!!!!) tooth in. Back to before! If any of us gets more than two hours of sleep at a time we're in luck. Naturally the girls are grumpy as such but Mummy & Daddy are worse I can assure you! When I tell you I can't wait for you to drop by it's got nothing to do with you Dick, really I just want somebody else's lap to stick the boy on. (He's not walking on his own quite just yet, but the girls were early bloomers. Mum says you and Ted took ages compared to all the rest of us so I'm not bothered.) But you'll love him I just know it. Everybody does. The photograph doesn't do him justice. If you don't for some reason find him to be the dearest baby boy who ever drew breath I suppose we'll simply have to have him Christened all over again! Surely there's enough room for another Edward in the family! Ha, ha. Anyway the girls are same old same old. Ellie is tearing her hair out over the matric. The school had a shake up last term & I don't know her year's teacher any longer so I can't be much help. She's months yet to revise but try telling her so come teatime and you're in for an earful. I thought most parents had the opposite problem?

As for the other two I reckon they'll be telling you themselves in their own special ways. Caroline has been sat at the dining table for the better part of an hour penning you a letter with the thesaurus & the dictionary each at hand. She's terribly precocious. I promised not to read whatever she's writing to you but I imagine she's putting on some airs so don't take it as gospel. She just may be writing you a novel—if she can finish up by morning I'll send it along, but if I don't get this out with a 1st class stamp on first thing I worry it will miss you, so she'll have to deliver it by hand on Sunday if not. The only time I've ever lost letters it's been to and from B.C. (Yours didn't get here til today and you've marked it 12/9, but I imagine that one is on you and not the Royal Mail.) Meanwhile Kate drew you a picture, enclosed. You'll have to use your imagination to make heads or tails of it. I haven't the faintest what goes on in that girl's head, and I'm afraid she's not yet old enough to put it properly to paper. This must be how Mum felt about you!

Well I was intending to have this wrapped up by now as I've to get tea started before Kate "dies" of "starvation" so I'll stop it here. Do please send Winnie and Lucy my love. I'm sure you'll have plenty to share from the R.H. once you're here so I shan't bother asking, but believe me when I tell you we'd like to know the gossip, so you'd best have some ready. 

Kisses,

From,

Your dearest and most favourite sister, who misses you very much,

Hannah.

P.S. The girls know everything but Caroline is hung up on the secret part. She's at just the right age to be asking questions. I've told her you'll give her answers but she can't ask in her letters she's got to wait til she sees you, was that the right choice? Just let me know. We're on our fourth but I could swear I learn something new about how I'm meant to be raising my children every day—and this isn't the sort of thing one talks about with the ladies at church is it? But I do my best, truly I do. Please remember that and don't keep these things under your hat in future. I may tease, but I don't blame you and nor does anybody else really. Just know: nothing has changed on that score and nothing ever will, so there's no need for secrets among the family.

Dick, when the sun sets we all want naught else but for you to be happy, and I think it's just splendid you are because it's been awfully long in coming. Everybody was pleased by your suggestion and we're very much looking forward to your showing up Sunday on time and with Mr Barrow in tow. Telephone when you know for sure and then we'll say no more. We love you very much and that's that.

*

Dear Uncle Dick,

How are you? I hope you are having a nice time at Balmoral Castle. What is Scotland like?

I am doing very well in school, but I do not like my teacher. He is new this year, and his name is Mr Harper. On the first day I liked him, but on the second day he made Doris stand in the corner, and he hit Winston on his hands. Doris is my friend, but Winston is not, because he sits on the boy's side. I am not friends with Margaret anymore, because she moved to Sheffield. It is very difficult when a friend lives far away! When I told Mother what happened at school, she said, we must be a very well behaved class, because when she was a little girl in Victorian times they never went a day without dissipline. She told me that I should be glad it is'nt Victorian times anymore. I would like to know what you think, because you were also alive in Victorian times.

This afternoon Kate and I drew illustrations. She likes to make them but she wo'nt ever tell what they are not even to me. She says they are secret. She says to tell you, we are very good at keeping secrets! She also says to tell you, Dicky is very big now. He can even stand up by himself! Only we have to help him if he would like to sit down again. When we got your letter today I asked him if he was excited to see you soon, and he smiled. Then, we read a book together. We are reading, The Story of Miss Moppet. By myself I am reading, The Patchwork Girl of Oz. It is very good. You probably have'nt read it, because it is for children.

Also, I am sewing alot. I want to make a dress but I have to make napkins first and a pillow sham. Mother said when you are here you can help me with my stitches if I ask nicely. Elizabeth said I am not very good at asking nicely, so, I had better practise. Lately, she is being very penurious.

I miss you Uncle! I am looking forward to seeing you again. I hope you are looking forward to seeing me too. I wish you would call us on the telephone soon!

Yours truly,

Caroline Marnie Walker

A ND KAtHERINE WALkER

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr as [@combeferre](https://combeferre.tumblr.com) !


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